Queer eye for the Vaati Guy
by CrystalDarkSamus
Summary: A story written just for fun. Shadow Link gives Vaati what he believes is a long needed makeover.


Vaati sat on a chair in his Palace, thinking. He was planning to capture Zelda and kill the Links one way or another when he heard Shadow Link speaking to him, interrupting him from his plans. "Master Vaati? You're a great sorcerer and all…but…"  
>Vaati looked up and narrowed his eyes at Shadow. "But what? Shadow Link? This better be important. What pathetic boy do you fancy now?" <p>

Shadow looked kind of hurt. "You know I fancy Vio, Master…but let's not talk about that right now. What I was saying is, well…you need a new look. Your old look is out. I have many ways to transform you from dull to gorgeous in a day. Zelda won't be able to resist you, Master; you'll be a regular babe magnet."  
>Vaati frowned. "A babe magnet? What does that mean? As for Zelda, she can't resist me. I'm too strong for her to be able to fight me." He shook his head and sighed. 'I don't have an old look, do I? I'm only young and I think I look it too.' Vaati was wondering why Shadow was doing this; offering to change his looks. He personally thought he was okay.<p>

Shadow Link looked earnest. "A babe magnet, Master, is a man who is physically attractive, and all of the ladies like him and go for him. You'd have your own fan club of women and if you wanted to marry, well…there would be plenty of choices. Master, what I meant about Zelda is that she will love you and find your new looks irresistible. Also, consider this, Master: If I change your looks people will respect you more and find you more frightening. Won't that be great? You will be able to strike fear into the hearts of people around the world."  
>Vaati considered the last part of Shadow's proposition. If he had his looks changed a little, people would respect him more and he would be able to destroy the world.<br>"Okay," He nodded, "But just a little bit of change not a whole lot."  
>Shadow Link nodded, smiling. He would enjoy giving Vaati a makeover a lot. He walked around Vaati, looking at him up and down.<br>"That cap is so last year…I've got a better one for you to wear, Master…" Shadow took the hat off Vaati's head. He put a silver tiara with diamonds and pearls on his head.

"As for your hair…I don't know what hair dye you've been using but it's too subdued. Your hair is too long; too…you look like a hippy. I'll fix it up for you." He took the tiara off again and cut Vaati's hair. "What the hell are you doing? I didn't want you to cut my hair off!" Vaati yelled at Shadow Link. He was very mad. First the cap had gone, and now his hair was short; only a couple of inches below his ears it ended. Shadow then dyed it a different colour. It was now hot pink.  
>"SHADOW LINK! YOU MORON! MY HAIR IS PINK!" Vaati shrieked his face was a mask of anger. He was so mad at this stage. He wanted to strangle Shadow Link for this.<br>"Master, it's very beautiful on you. You look great. However, we're not done yet. Your clothes are the next thing we'll change. Your sandals are lame. So is the rest of your outfit. The cape is so childish. We'll get rid of that. Purple is so not you. I'll make you hot." Shadow opened a big case of clothes and took out an outfit and gave it to Vaati.

Vaati went to try on the clothes. They were a top that ended halfway up his chest, a leather miniskirt, fishnet stockings and knee-high black boots. He shrieked when he saw his new makeover and ran out his room. "Shadow Link! Get here now!"  
>Shadow Link obediently came over to him. "Sir, you look fabulous! So handsome! You look really good. It's all come together really well, hasn't it?" He looked at Vaati up and down.<br>"I-I…I-I…I look like a transvestite! You've made me look ridiculous! No one will respect me looking like this. They won't take me seriously. I look like an idiot!"  
>"Rubbish, you look fabulous…now to take you out so people can see how handsome you look. Come on…" Shadow Link grabbed Vaati's arm and took him out into public.<p>

All of the people who saw him shrieked with laughter; they couldn't stop laughing the look was so comical. Some men thought it was quite an attractive look; Vaati was receiving many an appreciative glance and look-over.  
>Vaati's face was going red (Sort of) with fury. "See? You've made me into a laughing stock! I'm never going to be respected again! You've ruined me, you idiot!" He went back to his Palace and ran to his bedroom. He started crying into his pillow. All he ever wanted was to be respected and liked, but now that wasn't possible. "WHY?" He sobbed into his pillow.<p>

Shadow Link, meanwhile, was having a laugh. All he did was have a joke with his Master, and Vaati took it the wrong way. Shadow did feel awful, though. He didn't want to upset him, it was only meant as a joke. A half-serious one, he thought Vaati looked good dressed up.  
>He decided to apologize to Vaati for the joke. He went back to the Palace of Winds. He heard crying coming from Vaati's bedroom, so he went into that room. "Master Vaati? I've come to say something to you…"<br>Vaati looked up, his face wet with tears. "What? What could you possibly have to say that would make me feel better?"

Shadow Link went and sat on the edge of his bed. "Master, I'm sorry for embarrassing you…I won't ever do it again. I understand that this has hurt you." He did look genuinely  
>sorry for what he'd done.<br>Shadow Link was then surprised by Vaati hugging him. "Are you really sorry for what you've done, Shadow Link? Or did you feel sorry for me so you decided to lie to me?"  
>"I'm really sorry, Master…if there's any way I can make it up to you, name it and I'll do it." Shadow Link smiled at his Master, happy that he had stopped his Master's crying.<br>"Actually, Shadow Link…there is something you can do for me…"

***

Shadow Link stood up on a stage in front of about a hundred Hylians and Vaati dressed in a hot pink tutu, crown, silver high-heeled shoes and a tiny top that was also pink and had 'Hot Gal' written across the front.  
>"I'm a Barbie girl…in a Barbie world, life in plastic, it's fantastic. You can brush my hair; undress me everywhere imagination…life is your creation…" Next to Shadow Link was Vio, and he was singing the male vocals to 'Barbie Girl'. He was safe because he was allowed to wear his normal violet tunic and hat.<br>"Master, can I stop now? Please? I'm embarrassed." Shadow Link was very embarrassed.  
>Vio smiled at him. "I think you look sweet in pink."<br>"No, next song Shadow Link!"  
>Shadow Link sighed and began to sing the next song. "I'm just a sweet transvestite…"<p>

`Fin`


End file.
